Living With Picasso
These phantoms float in the vast sea of my mind.
Worldless, soundless, shapeless, they find me
Reaching to me, wrapping me in arms of abstract
Absorbing my consciousness, trying always to distract me.
They shout through murky water
Airless bubbles of thought
A butterfly’s broken wing to flutter
Breakable only when caught…
These hueless shades surround me, confound me
Taking up every daily breath of me
Satisfied only by my silent plea for relief
From all the silent screams, every faceless stare
Empty questions of how, why, where…why…
These phantoms won’t go away
My constant companions lie within
Within my distressed mind they stay
Forever to haunt my troubled dreams.
I had a dream last night that I died. I've never had a dream like that in my entire life. I mean, it wasn't me, but it was my dream-me (which was very different) and usually when things like that happen, you're like, watching it rather than experiencing it. It was probably the weirdest and most disturbing feeling i've ever had... to feel yourself stiffen, the air leave your lungs for the last time, and to have the thought "So this is what dying feels like" leaing to "I'm dead." But then, of course, it's nice to have just thought "I'm dead" and feel your real non-dream lungs still working normally. It was interesting the thoughts that went through my head, though. They weren't really sad thoughts, and it was only a touch of fear. Just a sense of how much I still need to do, how much I've left undone.
Wow.. Dude, I promise I'm not depressed! lol It would sure seem like it, what with this black background (i just think it looks severely cool!) and all the depressing poetry and stuff. I'm actually a very happy person. I live to laugh, and to help others to laugh. Or, if laughing isn't the best medicine (it isn't always), then I live to be their friend, their shoulder, their teddy bear to hug and squeeze and make it all go away. I think part of me is somewhat sad all the time, as are most people, but the conscious part of me realizes how stupid it is for me to waste so much time actually feeling sad, so I probably just push it back and let it simmer and stir for a while, until it's ready to form into some good writing. All my happy poetry usually sucks. hehe but I am almost always quite happy. If you've ever spent time with me, then you'd know that you'd be hard pressed to see me not smile for over 10 minutes. Unless I'm sleeping.
Anyway, I better go to class before I ramble on for another three pages.
Worldless, soundless, shapeless, they find me
Reaching to me, wrapping me in arms of abstract
Absorbing my consciousness, trying always to distract me.
They shout through murky water
Airless bubbles of thought
A butterfly’s broken wing to flutter
Breakable only when caught…
These hueless shades surround me, confound me
Taking up every daily breath of me
Satisfied only by my silent plea for relief
From all the silent screams, every faceless stare
Empty questions of how, why, where…why…
These phantoms won’t go away
My constant companions lie within
Within my distressed mind they stay
Forever to haunt my troubled dreams.
I had a dream last night that I died. I've never had a dream like that in my entire life. I mean, it wasn't me, but it was my dream-me (which was very different) and usually when things like that happen, you're like, watching it rather than experiencing it. It was probably the weirdest and most disturbing feeling i've ever had... to feel yourself stiffen, the air leave your lungs for the last time, and to have the thought "So this is what dying feels like" leaing to "I'm dead." But then, of course, it's nice to have just thought "I'm dead" and feel your real non-dream lungs still working normally. It was interesting the thoughts that went through my head, though. They weren't really sad thoughts, and it was only a touch of fear. Just a sense of how much I still need to do, how much I've left undone.
Wow.. Dude, I promise I'm not depressed! lol It would sure seem like it, what with this black background (i just think it looks severely cool!) and all the depressing poetry and stuff. I'm actually a very happy person. I live to laugh, and to help others to laugh. Or, if laughing isn't the best medicine (it isn't always), then I live to be their friend, their shoulder, their teddy bear to hug and squeeze and make it all go away. I think part of me is somewhat sad all the time, as are most people, but the conscious part of me realizes how stupid it is for me to waste so much time actually feeling sad, so I probably just push it back and let it simmer and stir for a while, until it's ready to form into some good writing. All my happy poetry usually sucks. hehe but I am almost always quite happy. If you've ever spent time with me, then you'd know that you'd be hard pressed to see me not smile for over 10 minutes. Unless I'm sleeping.
Anyway, I better go to class before I ramble on for another three pages.
posted by HollyAnn at 1:39 PM
1 Comments:
You always make me smile! You tend to rub off. I don't think you are depressed cause you have a black backround. They are so much more striking to look at, not to mention it helps the words stand out. You are amazing Holly. Thoes dreams sound very interesting, not in a bad way, but a good way. I have always wanted to feel something like that. Weird
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