So breathe, just breathe..

So, I'm home. Or, at least, I'm here in Maryland. I don't think I really know what "home" means anymore. One thing/place/person used to feel like "home," but things change when you're not looking. Colors change in autumn while you're sleeping, when it's cold at night. Lives change while you're not in them. The world keeps spinning even when you're floating above it, or sinking deep into it. I miss feeling at home. I don't know when home will happen again.

Work starts much sooner than I would like. I'll be making quite a bit more money than I've ever made in my life... but life is starting to cost money. lol I'll be glad when the next four years are over.

I wish some things didn't have to change. Or, I wish that I could make myself feel okay about things changing. To not randomly burst into tears while driving past old memories.

I need to sing again. Singing makes me happy. :) And happiness is good...and much needed.

"Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So just cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe...
just breathe"

...what about the fast forward button?... hehe :)