Faith Hill - There Will Come A Day

It's not easy, trying to understand
How the world can be so cold
Stealing the souls of man
Cloudy skies rain down
On all your dreams
You wrestle with the fear and doubt
Sometimes it's hard, but you gotta believe

There's a better place
Where our Father waits
And every tear He'll wipe away
The darkness will be gone
The weak shall be strong
Hold on to your faith
There will come a day
There will come a day

Wars are raging, lives are scattered
Innocence is lost and hopes are shattered
The old are forgotten
The children are forsaken
In this world we're living in
Isn't anything sacred?

There's a better place
Where our Father waits
And every tear
He'll wipe away
The darkness will be gone
The weak shall be strong
Hold on to your faith
There will come a day
There will come a day

Song will ring out
Down those golden streets
The voices of earth
The angels will sing
Every knee will bow
Sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
Every knee will bow
Sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
There will come a day
There will come a day

Junk and dancing girls

"Doing a thing, introducing it into your very being, will convince you of whether it is good or whether it is bad. You may not be able to convince me of that which you know, but you know it because you have lived it."

I really like this quote. It's from Elder Halverson last October conference. The best way to learn something is to live it. The best way to know if something is true is to try the experiment. I mean, there's fertile ground, so why not plant the seed and allow it to grow? What do you have to lose?

Anyway, apologies. Ramblings of Holly are always dangerous. hehe Well, it's Monday, that means yet another full week of junk. So, I'm going to go prepare myself for said junk.

Would I be out of line, if I said... I miss you..

Warning: Here comes one of Holly's random exploits.

It's almost February. February, besides being "Black History Month" (they don't have a "White History Month" or a "Purple History Month".. wtf mates?), February is the month of so-called "Love." Around this time, chocolate in pink-and-red wrapping stock the shelves, hundreds of sappy love movies are played. Legends like Romeo and Juliet are everywhere. But then you look around you, you look at the real world, and you see simply two people holding hands, a couple sitting on a couch smiling sweetly to eachother, someone with that kind of smile on their face that tells the world "I'm in love." It's not about dying for love. It's about living for love. Besides, what are legends? They're just stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Overcoming the unconquerable odds, whether it be surviving romance from such a long distance or defeating a literal giant standing in the way of happiness. So overcome the odds. Create your own legend.

*steps down from soapbox*

Chemistry homework is a skank.
I need to drive.

That is all.

Somewhere a clock is ticking

In other news......
-renewed passion and desperation for musical talent, expression, ability, and performance. the creative genius is inside, but can't figure out how to break through. in other words: elvis is still in the building. thank you very much.
-class shmlass.
-scientists have discovered the answer to the all-time question of "What's Up?".. The answer: Up is a two-letter word indicating a direction.

Anyway. I've been told I must update this thing far more often than I do, so I suppose I shall try.

Tomorrow should be a decent day. Might see my favorite Mary, the most adorable girl ever, and I might get to see other awesome people.

I got to sing tonight. I haven't really sung in such an incredibly long time. Laura came to the basement with me to get my laundry from the drier, and we randomly went into the practice room and started playing and singing, and it was fully amazing. We blend really well, except that she's so freaking amazing. lol We might sing for church one week. That gives me hope.

.......to sleep, perchance to dream..

Living With Picasso

These phantoms float in the vast sea of my mind.
Worldless, soundless, shapeless, they find me
Reaching to me, wrapping me in arms of abstract
Absorbing my consciousness, trying always to distract me.
They shout through murky water
Airless bubbles of thought
A butterfly’s broken wing to flutter
Breakable only when caught…
These hueless shades surround me, confound me
Taking up every daily breath of me
Satisfied only by my silent plea for relief
From all the silent screams, every faceless stare
Empty questions of how, why, where…why…
These phantoms won’t go away
My constant companions lie within
Within my distressed mind they stay
Forever to haunt my troubled dreams.

I had a dream last night that I died. I've never had a dream like that in my entire life. I mean, it wasn't me, but it was my dream-me (which was very different) and usually when things like that happen, you're like, watching it rather than experiencing it. It was probably the weirdest and most disturbing feeling i've ever had... to feel yourself stiffen, the air leave your lungs for the last time, and to have the thought "So this is what dying feels like" leaing to "I'm dead." But then, of course, it's nice to have just thought "I'm dead" and feel your real non-dream lungs still working normally. It was interesting the thoughts that went through my head, though. They weren't really sad thoughts, and it was only a touch of fear. Just a sense of how much I still need to do, how much I've left undone.

Wow.. Dude, I promise I'm not depressed! lol It would sure seem like it, what with this black background (i just think it looks severely cool!) and all the depressing poetry and stuff. I'm actually a very happy person. I live to laugh, and to help others to laugh. Or, if laughing isn't the best medicine (it isn't always), then I live to be their friend, their shoulder, their teddy bear to hug and squeeze and make it all go away. I think part of me is somewhat sad all the time, as are most people, but the conscious part of me realizes how stupid it is for me to waste so much time actually feeling sad, so I probably just push it back and let it simmer and stir for a while, until it's ready to form into some good writing. All my happy poetry usually sucks. hehe but I am almost always quite happy. If you've ever spent time with me, then you'd know that you'd be hard pressed to see me not smile for over 10 minutes. Unless I'm sleeping.
Anyway, I better go to class before I ramble on for another three pages.

The Tuesday that is a Monday

Well, today was a pretty good day. Life has been very full lately. I love my family, I've grown a new family of 6 girls on my floor (we're going to live in Stadium Terrace next year), I've learned how to drive a stick shift, I'm losing weight, and I got an 85% on a math test (highest college math score yet), and I have a job lined up for this summer. How exciting. Oh, and I got my hair cut and right now, I'm dying it. So, yeah. :) how fun.

It's my Daddy's birthday. You know, a girl needs a daddy, whether she knows it or not. It's only been recently that I have realized that little fact. It's only been recently that I've realized why I've always been afraid to try to create a real relationship with the man who sent money every month. It's because I was afraid that if I delved too deep, if I tried to find love from my father, that I wouldn't find it. That my daddy didn't really love me. Of course, I didn't know it at the time, because if I did, I would have dismissed the thought as stupid and utterly impossible. I only know it now because I now realize that he really does love me, that I can still be daddy's little girl in a way. I don't worry about spending eternity near him. Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Somebody else's dream

It's that feeling you get when you see what you've worked, and dreamed, and hoped, and prayed for all your life. It's the only star you've ever gazed upon, every year one more candle wished upon, another faded penny thrown in the fountain. Finally, in your hands lay the power to pull down that star from the sky and make it your own. Your fingers, your mind, your voice have found it. Then somewhere in the applause the alarm clock rings. You open your eyes and see what you've worked and dreamed and hoped and prayed for all your life. That star, another candle, the jaded penny, your dream... fell into somebody else's life.

Some pictures..

Hello Emo Holly!


Hello Happy Holly!



Hello silly Hoddie&Bee! 


I just saw someone with a Clear Creek t-shirt. that's freakin awesome.

Snowflake Diaries

It begins as a simple phenomenon, not knowing the future
Above the mountains, floating, one with the clouds
Shapeless right now, but nonetheless there waiting
Waiting for the right time to fall.
Suddenly, there is a pull. Oh no.
It's not time yet, not ready yet
Don't fall.
They're all falling, getting shapes, none the same.
Each one has a different destination, different destiny
Some to melt, some to blind, some to freeze, some to build
Some treacherous, some soft...
But it wonders, what is the future? what is the destination?
Not shaped yet, don't shape yet, not ready yet.
Oh no. Don't fall. The pull is coming. Oh no.
Suddenly, it's falling.
It has a shape. Unique, beautiful, white
It falls on an eyelash
A smile. A laugh.
Blending into joy.

hmm. anyway.
I'm awake far too early today. I've been having all kinds of weird dreams lately, but I can never remember them in coherent thoughts, only in vague feelings and images.
You know, I love the friends I've made on my floor. I love them so much that I can't imagine not living with them next year. I have two classes with one friend each.... and it kind of sucks being the safety net so they don't always have to go to class, because of course I'll go and take notes, and of course I'll let them see my notes. Oh well, it's okay. woot.
I've been spending a lot of time down at my cousins' house in Springville, which is the most random thing ever, but has been very incredibly fun. In just a few short days, I'm already getting closer to my cousins than I've ever been, and getting really close to the family living with them, and my friend who is the connection between me and that whole world. I went down there last night with him, and we took one of the guys to Pleasant Grove after we finally left (at like 10:20). I haven't been up around Mt Timp temple in a really, really long time.. and that's "my" temple. I love it.. So many memories. Anyway, my friend drove by it and I got to see it up close for the first time in at least two years. I think that was the first time I've ever seen it without scaffolding. :)

Anyway. I suppose I should go get ready for class. Unfortunately.

"That is just so you, coming back when I finally moved on"

So sue me, I think Kelly Clarkson has a most beautiful voice. Whether or not she writes her own songs is one thing. But she is definitely incredibly vocally talented, which gives me hope that there are still SOME people that are actually famous for their ability rather than their connections. Wow.

So, people are awesome:
Kris = spaceboyx96.blogspot.com
Bee = waxphilosophical.blogspot.com

Kris and Jenna are going to be famous one day. And I'm going to sell their merchandise. woot

So, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to end up having this blog be. Most likely it'll be an outlet of random creative energy, whether it sucks or not. Usually it sucks, so don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh, and another warning. I'm really a very happy person. :) If you don't believe me now, then spend 5 minutes around me and you will. But my random bursts of creative energy usually tend to be somewhat depressing. Why is this? Maybe because I suppress emotion, maybe because I just simply write better about sad stuff. Anyway. I'm also one for random ramblings that make absolutely no contextual or grammatical sense.

Voila. C'est moi.

I've never been good at "hello" or "goodbye", but rather "I love you"

Bienvenue a la Blogger.com, Holly.
(oh no, i'm speaking to myself in french. it's already getting bad.) Anyway.
So, hi, I'm Holly. yes, I am a 17 year old college student. and yes, I am..... I am the warm car after church on a bright and sunny yet frigid day in late fall.
I am not a giggle, a chuckle, or a deep belly-laugh. I am a contented smile.
I am the lid of a snack-size pudding package, always to be there for you when you forget your spoon.
I am vanilla ice cream, with Hershey's chocolate syrup stirred in, to create a silly mess of yummy goodness.
I am pastels.
I am the teddy bear sitting on your bed, huggable and constant.
I am the favorite movie, way over-quoted, but beloved anyway.
I am the song on the CD that never made it to the radio, but some people like me anyway.
I am a body pillow.
I am middle C.
I am sometimes a Picasso, sometimes a Monet (depending on what time of day).
And above all, I am.... Are you?